A Human gives a Dwarf an original idea.

DWARF: "Hey! That sounds interesting!"

His invention might very well be the End of the World as We Know It.

It will probably involve an impossible invention intended to solve some everyday problem facing humanity, such as the Perfect Mousetrap... and will no doubt go horribly wrong.

The End of the World will ( Read more... )

"Queen Vivienne is in an incredibly bad mood right now. To use the common vernacular: she is royally pissed off, and anyone intruding upon her right now stands an equal chance of being blown to bits or turned to stone, depending on how MUCH they piss her off.
Are you willing to take your chances, or wait until Her Majesty is in a much better mood?"

"Most people consider Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl to be a great read... a marvelous book for children. For the Mine Goblins, it's a damn instruction manual!"

"I heard the Clockwork Empress is buying land for a factory out near Victorville."

"Holy crap! That crazy bitch is actually going to build a chocolate factory?"

"Why not? ( Read more... )

From the universe of Fixing a Hole:

"Give a Mine Goblin a complete set of magical tools, and he (or she) is just as happy as can be.

Give a Mine Goblin a complete set of magical tools and an original idea... and you have a disaster just waiting to happen."

Proof that Lenore is one of the most frightening and disturbing of my characters.

"This is the zipper wand. It zips and unzips people. I just zipped your eyes and mouth shut.

What should I do next? Should I zip your nose shut and slowly watch you suffocate?

Or should I unzip you from front to back, starting just below your breastbone, inch by inch ( Read more... )

How many Dwarves does it take to change a light bulb?

Sane people will never ask that question. Ask a Dwarf to change a light bulb--and the Dwarf will take one look at the burned-out bulb and believe they can invent something much, much better.

Not only will the new and improved light bulb never burn out, but it will be bright enough to be used as ( Read more... )

Rose and Thorn are the Crown Prince and Princess of House Thorn, the House of the Rose as well as the ruling house of the Court of Flowers among the Unseelie Sidhe. Symbolized by the heraldic device of a white rose with black leaves upon an emerald field, they are the twin offspring of King Aiglantine, the Willow King whose murder with the cursed ( Read more... )

"Once upon a time there a Queen of Faerie who so loved the world, she wished that no plant or animal would ever die, and everyone and everything would live forever. Since that was impossible, she vowed to make every living thing as beautiful, as wonderful, and as close to perfection as possible ( Read more... )

A story fragment from a future project, in which a teenage girl who believes in Faeries accidentally awakens the Winter Queen in New York City... and together with a Faerie Princess by the name of Stella Starlight must save the world from a Thousand Years of Winter by finding the Summer Queen before the Winter Solstice ( Read more... )

Fixing a Hole is a proposal for what will either be a comic book or a television series, and in some ways is a sequel to my current project, The Wasteland, since it takes place in the same universe--but in modern times.

Fixing a Hole is best described as a dystopian fantasy satire based on a simple premise: what if holes opened between Earth and ( Read more... )